The Year in Review....

I've read a couple of posts lately by people who are reviewing their progress thus far in 2009. This, together with a few of my goals coming to fruition in the last few weeks, has inspired me to do my own "year in review" post. And I read somewhere that as well as writing down your goals, you should also keep track (written) of your achievements. And since this is my journal now, this is where I will record them.

So I guess this post comes with a warning - it's likely to be rather self-indulgent. So feel free to tune out ...... now!

OK. You can see at the top of my blog the goals that I set at the beginning of December 2008. And I'm happy to say that as at April 2009, I have achieved all of them (and continue to achieve the ongoing ones). For the first time in my life, my mindset really has changed! It's quite amazing.

For example ... I'm a certified chocoholic. And Easter chocolates have a particularly distinct (and extra sweet) flavour. I decided to spoil myself and bought a few .. including a couple of packets of the really little ones. When I opened them all up and put them in a bowl (they look so pretty on the kitchen bench in all their gloriously colourful wrappers!), I realised that I'd gone a little overboard. So I decided to have a bit of a binge today and get rid of quite a few. But not too many into it, I realised that I wasn't enjoying them and really didn't want any more. Huh?? Is this possible? OK, who the hell ARE you and what have you done with Sue???? To top it off (and given that I'd been perusing martial arts articles), I was inspired to go for a run. A real run. On the street. (All my running to date has been on a treadmill in the gym.) So I did. And I'd already done 30mins on the Stairmaster this morning plus some karate kata.

I was gone for about 40mins and ran all of the way, barring a few minutes walk on warm up and cool down. Toward the end I stopped at a cricket oval where I did 3 sets of 10 push-ups and the same in sit-ups, plus a fast run around the oval. Feel amazing now.

Craig Harper called me "an athlete" not long ago, when answering some of my questions about weight loss in one of his posts. He also made a note, "For my other readers, Sue is a martial artist." To see these things about me in writing really struck a chord. Funny how something so simple can have such an impact. Since then I have been conscious about my choices and how I am living, given that I WANT to be (and be seen to be) an athlete and a martial artist. Somewhere along the way, I have become exactly those things, as I now exist in that mindset without effort .. and without question.

But before I digress too much, back to the post at hand .. what I have achieved so far in 2009. (I'll limit these to end-type events, rather than ongoing goals.)

* Achieved weight loss (body composition) goal of 18% bodyfat (and size 10 butt!).

* Secured a challenging, interesting and well-paid job (I start on April 20).

* Passed the Sempai Training Programme (assistant karate instructor) with a score of 58/60.

* Further to above, it was announced that I would be groomed up as quickly as possible to take over a particular class - which means I'll be a Sensei in the very near future. (Holy crap!)

* Won the gold medal for kumite (fighting) in my division at the regional tournament held April 5.

All of these achievements have taken months of training and hard work .. even the job search (I was out of work for 6 months). So to actually be able to say I really did finish what I started in these areas feels amazing. I'm not sure I've ever actually reached that pinnacle before. And now I find myself both looking forward to the next challenges in my life (which include starting my new job and becoming a Sensei in the near future), and also thinking about what goals I am inspired to set myself now. That is something for another post, methinks.

I mentioned earlier in this post that my mindset has really changed on this journey. Aside from viewing my lifestyle as exactly that, a lifestyle, rather than a short-term change in behaviour to reach a goal, the main difference has been that once I set my goals, I was able to "let them go". I didn't do each training session or day of clean eating while continually looking forward thinking "that's one more tick toward the end goal". Rather, I found myself simply immersed in the NOW of it all, and enjoying each day and session for exactly what it was and the feeling it gave me. And by not continually being focussed on those future goals, I enjoyed getting there a whole lot more .. and they seemed to come up fast - almost without me realised how far I'd actually progressed. This is a mindset that I will consciously aim to keep!

So there you have it. I've done great this year and in addition to the lessons I've learned along the way, I have a new-found self-belief that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. Yep, time for new goals. And new challenges. Bring it on!

Goal Achieved!

Yay!  The weight loss (fat loss) journey is over! I've reached my goal of less than 18% body fat and just this morning clocked in at 65.4kg .. which is the leanest and lightest I've been in the last 15 years. And is also about 17kg lighter than my heaviest weight of 83kg. So needless to say, I'm pretty thrilled this morning!

In addition to the physical goal, I also received an excellent job offer yesterday .. which I will accept. It's a challenging and interesting role, giving me free rein in setting up the commercial side of the business from scratch .. quite exciting! It's a mining joint venture that is just about to go into the construction phase. I start in a couple of weeks, so I now need to go shopping for a new work wardrobe. Nope, can't wipe the cheesy grin off my face this morning!

I believe in the power of the mind, and in particular, positive thoughts. After six months being out of work (during which time lots of people asked if I was worried or stressed, etc), I have a brilliant job offer. And the funny thing is, I never doubted that it would happen. Sure, if I thought about it too much, I could convince myself to get concerned, but my gut .. my feelings .. my INSTINCT was never worried. I just had total faith that the right role would come along when it was meant to.

Ever since I decided to have this total faith in the Universe, I have to admit that it feels like the right opportunities come along a lot more easily. And I'm enjoying the journey a whole lot more. Sure, I still need to set goals and work hard toward them, but it seems to me that when I'm willing to put in MY share of hard work, commitment and determination, the Universe is then willing to then create opportunities that I may not otherwise have had. And it also seems to guide me in the right direction, and with the right timing. Believe in this stuff or not ... it's up to you. But in my mind, what have you got to lose? Seriously. Do you really gain anything by quashing the possibilities of intangible powers like this? But you can't pretend .. you have to totally believe it. Have complete faith. And for a non-religious person, it's actually really nice to have complete faith in something greater than exists on this physical Earth!

Non-negotiables

Well, as I near the finish line of my weight loss journey and have established excellent eating and exercise habits, I think it's a perfect time to formally decide and commit to what my non-negotiable behaviours are for living that healthy life indefinitely now. Switching from a weight loss mindset to a more relaxed, "this is just how I live my life" mindset will be a bit of a challenge for me. A pleasant one though!

One thing that has TOTALLY blown me away about this weight loss journey first though .. and I touched on it in my previous post. As a result of my regular exercise, my building up of muscle bulk and regularly eating those 5 meals a day has really had a huge impact on my metabolism. As I came within a few kgs of my goal (which is based on a bodyfat percentage, Mr Harper - before you say I wasn't listening when you answered my questions in your post recently!), my weight loss seemed to slow a bit .. and even getting REALLY sharp with the diet didn't help. What did though, was a little more cardio (just as a boost - not ongoing), and eating MORE .. including some naughty stuff!  Go figure. Last weekend really stunned me though.

I ate very little in 48hrs that was good.  And what I did eat included cheese, crackers, salami, cheesecake (several slices), mudcake (quite a few slices), bacon & eggs, chocolate, maltesers and chicken schnitzel, all washed down with large doses of white wine and coke!  I weighed myself the day after this, and was 1kg heavier than the day before I started my little pig-fest. Which at the time I was pretty damn pleased about ... very minimal damage, I thought. But what blew me away totally, was to get on the scales this morning and see my weight had dropped by over 1kg from last week, INCLUDING that big binge. And I only did about 1/3 of my normal exercise this week!  Very bizarre. But obviously the body likes to be totally shocked every now and then - inspires it to think that it has NO REASON to hang on to any fat if I'm going to feed it like that occasionally! (Something to keep in mind when you're close to your goal weight and getting frustrated at how it's slowed down.)

OK, so back to my non-negotiables:

• Eat 5 meals a day (including prior preparation when working again)
• Weigh myself and measure bodyfat once a fortnight (eventually once a month)
• Do strength training on each muscle group at least once per week
• Attend at least 2 karate classes per week
• Do at least one 30min run per week
• Do at least 2 x 25min interval training sessions on Stairmaster per week
• Get at least 8hrs sleep per night

They're a start and they're based on what I've been doing, so should be readily converted into my "normal" life, rather than being part of that dogged focus to achieve the weight-loss goals, if that makes sense. There are others that include reading, meditation and other internal self-development that I'd like to include, but not until I'm already doing them ... which will be part of my next phase of goals. (I don't see the point of setting up too many non-negotiables that I probably won't achieve and end up feeling like I'm failing. Rather, I'll call them non-negotiables when I've been doing them with focus, but it's time to do them just as part of normal life.)

Any thoughts? Have I missed any, do you think? Am I setting myself up for lifelong health and fitness well, or could I be doing somethings better? I'm always interested in others' perspectives and experiences. When it comes to improvement, steal shamelessly, I say!

Confuzzled....

Well, it's official. I have no idea how the human body works when it comes to weight loss. Particularly the FEMALE human body. Nope, not a f***ing clue.

As you may have read, about a week or so ago, I decided to go sharp on the food in an all-out assault to knock off another 2-3kgs and see where that left me as I near my goal weight. Well. I did exactly that for the first week. Jumped on the scales on Saturday morning to review my progress, to discover that I'd GAINED 0.3kg. Hmmmm. Not big in the scheme of things, I know .. but definitely NOT in the right direction. And no, it's not THAT week where it's easy to retain weight (that's this week). Admittedly, my body fat had dropped, so most of it was muscle gain. But not all of it.

A bit disappointed, but determined to persevere. Maybe not be so concerned about being perfect with the food though, since it didn't pay dividends for me. So on Sunday I had my favourite Portuguese chilli chicken burger (LOADED with full egg mayo and chilli oil sauce .. mmmm .. and about 900 calories, at my estimate). Then I went out for dinner with a friend and kept the food reasonably healthy and portion sizes small. Followed by a chocolate bar. Yeah, that'll teach this body of mine!

Woke this morning firmly back to reality and decided to see what damage I did yesterday (according to the scales). Well. I was back to the 68.0kg from a week ago .. but with lower body fat. Does my body thrive on the occasional lashing of semi-naughtiness? Does a mini calorie overload inspire it to drop weight like a hot potato?? Weird. Very weird. So I'll just keep on keeping on - being very good 95% of the time.

(New plan - I've upped the cardio workouts I'm doing. Gonna burn those last couple of kgs off now. So there! According to the calcs now, my ideal weight for 18% body fat is 65.5kg .. so not far to go.)

A Waste of Time .. ??

As some of you may know (or have noticed), I practice karate - Go Kan Ryu style, if that means anything to you. I've recently graded to my blue belt, which is half way to black in the level of belts .. although the higher you go, the longer you stay on each belt. Excluding any major injuries, I'm probably looking at another 3-4 years before I would be ready for my black belt grading.

But there are other things you can do besides simply working to achieve your black belt. I'm currently doing the Sempai Training Programme (STP), which means I'm learning to be an assistant instructor. Sempai's and Sensei's (full instructors) get to wear a black belt with a white stripe through it, if they're lower than black belt grade. And you get assigned to your own Dojo. In addition, any karate student can compete in tournaments - Regional, State, Australasian and World Cup (which is being held in Melbourne this year).

When you compete, you go in either or both the kata and the kumite. Kata is a pattern - different ones at different levels - and you perform it solo, with lots of people watching you. Quite nerve-racking. Kumite is fighting. It's points based - first one to so many points, or furthest ahead when time is up. Now THAT'S fun! In 2007 I won medals in both kata and kumite at both Regional Tournaments, plus the gold medal at the Australasians for kumite and bronze for kata. Yep, I was the Aussie champ for my gender, age-group and grade (which at the time was the "old chicks" and "beginners", before I start to sound too good!). Here's a picture of my Australasian medals.

I didn't compete last year as I broke my toe and spent much of the year trying to recover - both the toe and my general fitness. This year I'm fighting fit (pun intended!) and barring any injury, will be competing in all the tournaments - including the World Cup. And this year I'm in the intermediate division. (Next division is brown belt and above .. which is as high as it goes, unless you want to compete in the opens against fit, strong 20yo's! Not.)

So last Thursday I was training at the senior class (which is for all the instructors in the region - so imagine about 50 people training and not only am I the lowest grade, but there are only 4 people with belts lower than brown belt .. pretty awesome company!). The Region Sensei - who is the most senior instructor in NSW, at least, and a third dan black belt - was asking who was going to enter the World Cup. Who wanted to be the World Champ? Surprisingly, not many of us raised our hands. When he asked why not, someone said that he probably wouldn't win .. and would be disappointed. Sensei then made a very good point.

"Well, firstly, you won't know unless you give it a go. Someone has to win, so why not you? Someone will win, that's a given. So imagine you decided you're going to go for it. You train hard for the next few months. You enter the other tournaments and may or may not win medals along the way. Your karate improves out of sight. You get to the World Cup and don't win .. or get a medal at all. But your karate is SO improved from where you are right now. Was it a waste of time? Gee, you didn't win but you have learnt so much in a short space of time and your karate is at a whole new level. Yeah, probably a complete waste of time and effort. Why bother?"

Moral: See the bigger picture. Brilliant.

Rumblings at the gym ....

I started well on the 3 week challenge I set myself yesterday - spent over 3 hours in the gym! Had a personal training session, followed by a weights session, followed by a good stretching session, followed by 30mins on the treadmill. Suffice to say I was proudly buggered.

I also learnt something at that workout. And feel free to use the power of your mouse clicking right about now and leave - this may not be something you really wanted to know. (Especially if you frequent the same gym as me!)

I learnt that if I have any part of a fart loaded and ready .... part of a fart - he he - that's pretty funny! .... Sorry, I digress. Ahh, yes. What I learnt is that if I'm running at 12km/hr on the treadmill, there is NO keeping it in. And my sincerest apologies to the lady on the elliptical trainer behind me.

Anyway, a couple of little ones snuck out. I thought at the time, "at least they were silent". A split second after that thought wafted (sorry, couldn't help myself!) through my mind, I realised that I had my iPod earphones in my ears and couldn't hear anything butt the loud music. (Damn, I'm on a roll!) But seriously, I could have broken the sound barrier in that gym and I wouldn't have known it. People could have been dropping like flies and I just kept on running. I guess I'll have some idea if my membership is suddenly cancelled, eh?

Have you had an embarrassing adventure? I've heard that this is not uncommon for personal trainers to have to endure, but I've never heard of any stories first-hand. Feel free to share - I don't actually enjoy being the only (smelly) tosser, you know!

My Weight-Loss Secret

Well, yesterday I bored you (and me) senseless with my weight loss/gain rollercoaster history. But I also told you that I can manage to lose the weight fairly readily when I truly choose to .. and I promised to tell you my "magic ingredient" for doing that.

Sorry. I changed my mind. Ha ha .. sucked in!

Oh, alright .. I'm kidding. So here it is....

It's a food diary. But not an ordinary one. I started doing that .. just writing down everything I was eating (which was all good from a health perspective), but had no idea how it all stacked up in the maths side of calories, etc. I looked at trying to list down all the calories, protein, carbs & fat for every little ingredient, but that took WAY too long! So I developed a tool to simplify it .. a spreadsheet.

Now I'm sure I'm not the only one to have done this, but what I can tell you is that before Xmas this year I was trying really hard to lose the weight. I lost a couple of kgs in the first week or so (as you do), but then not much was happening. I was training like a demon - definitely over-training and was perpetually tired but pushing myself to do more, more, more cardio. I had a suspicion that I was probably not eating ENOUGH calories, but I was too scared to eat MORE! It wasn't working like it should, so I needed to change something. And rather than just guess, I decided to put the effort in to know EXACTLY what I was doing with my body. And do what had worked in the past.

So what my little spreadsheet does is a few things. The most basic is simply recording your stats - weight and measurements - as you take them (I'm set for weekly weigh-ins and 4-weekly measurements). It will also calculate your required daily calorie intake for both maintenance and for weight-loss (20% below maintenance). Mine is 1800-1900 .. which is way more than I would have thought - and more than a lot of the literature says (they recommend 1200-1500 for weight loss for women). Obviously it depends on your build.

But the best thing that this tool does, once you set it up, is greatly reduce the time it takes to keep a food diary and also allows you to totally plan out your day, knowing in advance how your dietary intake will end up. The way it does this is to allow you to put in up to 9 "breakfasts", 9 "lunches" and 9 "dinners" .. meals that you would regularly put together during your weight-loss phase. Which means you only need to put in the ingredients once. The diary itself then just allows you to put in "Breakfast #1" - which in my case is a protein shake with 250ml of lite milk. It will then automatically fill in the calories and the grams of protein, carbs and fat. And since I've been doing this, and sticking with 5 meals a day, a total of around 1800 calories and protein of about 25-30%, it's all been working. And if it doesn't, it gives me a solid grounding to review and change.

So there you have it. My "secret". Nothing ground-breaking .. but a much simpler and more effective way of doing something that is really necessary to get results (ie. keeping a food diary). Hope I've given you some new ideas to make the journey either easier or more effective!

Have a good one.

Time for review

I realised yesterday that the time is nearing. Yes, that the most important of days is just around the corner! I set my goals on December 9, 2008. The 3 month mark from this date will arrive in 3 weeks' time! (Yeah, OK .. so I can get a little carried away. My site. Can if I want. So there.)

Aaaaanyway .. the weight loss part of my goals was supposed to be complete within those 3 months. Am I there yet? No, not quite. Am I going well though? Definitely. Am I happy? Absolutely. But I also want to be one of those few people who actually FINISHES what they start. (And honestly, I'm looking forward to not having to record every morsel that enters my mouth.)

So, I have 3 weeks. And from my original goal I still have 4kgs to go. What can I do in 3 weeks? Well, I can sharpen up a bit on the food. Make sure I ALWAYS eat my 5 small meals and right level of calories. Get up earlier so that my last meal is well before bedtime (I've been a bit of a lazy sloth while I haven't been working). Don't miss any of my workouts, and even add some additional bits of cardio. Starting today - with personal training, weights and a 30min run. Yes. Let's do this. Let's be sharp and focussed and see what can be achieved in 3 weeks. Another 2-3kg down would be awesome.

To anyone watching from the sidelines, feel free to join me. 3 weeks of pure focus and no excuses. We can do that, right? Of course! Piece of cake .. just not literally. Let's go!

PS. Got my "Suck it up, Princess" shirt today - so have posted a pic. Sorry I didn't bother doing my hair or makeup for you!  ;)

Last ride on the rollercoaster...

... and it's already more than half over! What am I talking about? The rollercoaster of weight loss/weight gain, of course. Oh, yes, you know that one, don't you? Most of us do. Here's where I tell you my story. And if at any time I find myself gaining weight again, I'll come back and read it to inspire me NOT to be lining up for that damn rollercoaster again!

I was a skinny kid. And a tall, gangly, skinny teenager. A fussy eater, so my mother was happy with ANYTHING that went into my stomach. I learnt early on that, a) I had a rather large sweet tooth, b) I had a HUGE appetite, and c) I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. From a health perspective, I always ate breakfast (either toast or a sugar-laden cereal), always lunch (a range of semi-healthy to completely unhealthy choices), and always a healthy dinner (we were a meat-and-three-veg family). In between, I had a Wagon Wheel (rather large chocolate coated biscuits with marshmallow and jam in between) EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY SCHOOL LIFE, had crap when I got home and a HUGE pile of crap after dinner. Would not be unusual for me to take a picnic to bed with me - ice cream, biscuits, chocolate and chips .. and yes, all together! Oh, and I never learnt to cook. So as you can imagine, this really set me up with some brilliantly healthy eating habits to take into adulthood. Not.

I finished Uni and moved out of home at 22 years of age. I was still very slim, as I was very active. Then I started working. Which involved a HUGE amount of time sitting on my butt. And minimal (if any) exercise. So from my mid 20s, I began to gain weight. My idea of a healthy dinner was a big fat steak and some of that creamy packet pasta. Maybe some peas - but they were optional. Yes Mum, I WAS looking after myself!

At age 18 I weighed about 54kg - yes, too thin for a 5'10" frame. I didn't weigh myself for about the next 10 years. Not kidding. Got on the scales at work in 1998 (I remember, because it was just before I changed jobs). I was 69kg. OMIGOD!! I can't possibly go over 70kg .. how terrible! (I'm currently 68kg and feel quite trim, by comparison.) Again, I didn't weigh myself for the next 9 months or so. 78kg. Ouch. Too late to care. And it's not like I had a partner that I had to please. Besides, I didn't even know where to start. So I didn't. Start.

My defining moment? I moved to Brisbane in 2000 with a view to creating a social side to my life and went shopping for clothes for my new city job. Size 16 was too tight. Ugh. I was 83kg. For someone who had always had a great butt and a defined waist, I was suddenly shaped like a block. This is not me. At all. It was time. I tore a tag off a notice that was pinned to a telegraph pole - you know the ones. It was for Herbalife - replace 2 meals a day. So I did. And I walked for an hour most weekdays at lunch time. Got down to just over 70kg. Was SO happy.

Decided at this point that it was time to "tone up", so I joined a gym for the first time in my life. I was nearly 32. So I got a personal trainer and started doing gym stuff. And I began to put on weight. Oh, no! That's not supposed to happen! I still had no clue about appetite or just food in general. Back up to 78kg (which is when this pic was taken - don't I just look SO happy??). FINALLY, I stumbled across the Body-For-Life challenge. This was the one thing that finally got me on the right track and taught me what I needed to know. I did it for 6 months (with about a month off in the middle). Got down to about 67kg. With muscle. Stayed there for a while. Got married and was moving to Beijing in '03. In the time it took me to pack up our house, sell cars and furniture, etc, I "forgot" to eat properly and went back up to 76kg. Moved to China and luckily didn't have to work. So I went to the gym every weekday. Got down to 66kg. Moved back to Sydney in '05. Stress of work again. Couldn't be bothered eating properly (my ex-husband wasn't NOT a good influence either). Back to 76kg. Planned on going skiing in '06. Set myself a goal to lose 8kg in 11wks. Achieved it (back to 68kg) on the day before we left. Broke my toe doing karate last year. Back to 74kg by Xmas. Now back to 68kg .. and VERY committed to making this the Final Resting Place. Of my weight .. not of me.

Phew. I'm exhausted! Bet you are too. But does this sound familiar? Do you think it would be worth a bit of effort and care to MAINTAIN our weight, rather than ride this damn rollercoaster all the time? I do. Big time. And that's my challenge - I can lose the weight, I need to learn how to maintain it. For good.

Next time I will write about exactly HOW I manage to get the weight loss results I want. My "magic ingredient". Don't get too excited though - it's not something I put in my mouth!

Great news and inspiration

I'm still wallowing in my restful weekend but I don't feel relaxed and content. I'm more agitated, lazy and flat, all at the same time. I sat on the lounge for a ridiculously inordinate amount of time this morning, doing bugger all. Decided to see if there have been any interesting comments on the craigharper.com blog. To my surprise, there was Monday's article, all fresh and pretty. And included in the article was a letter from Hellen - a regular reader/commenter who was caught in the recent horrendous bushfires in VIC, namely Kinglake. Reading that she was not only OK but that she was looking at the experience as an opportunity to "get her shit together" and "suck it up" was inspiring, to say the least.

Thanks, Hellen. You've allowed me some clarity to realise that there really isn't anywhere I'd rather be than in my life. And even in my body. It's taken all my life thus far to get where I am - and I've had some pretty great experiences and achievements - and now it's a pretty damn fine place to be!

The restful (lazy) weekend is over. No more wallowing. Time to suck it up (yet again) and get on with living life!

(The picture is from my farm and is of bushfires in 1994. Scary stuff - and not even close to what has recently happened in VIC.)

Some things never change .. but some things do!

As I mention in my blog intro, I'm a bit of a tom-boy. Don't get me wrong - I'm a girl in all the ways that matter. I just have some attributes that are .. strange.

Let's see if I can paint a bit of a picture. I never owned a Barbie. The only doll I ever owned was the Bionic Man .... you know the one - he had the hole through his head so you can look through his bionic eye. Too cool. (I really wanted the G.I. Joe doll though - and that really, really awesome boat he had!) I never had dolls' houses or the like. I had a train set, a racing car set, a cricket set, a skateboard and a huge box of Lego - including the engine (hours of fun!).

As I got older, I had a BMX bike. And usually a classy array of scabs on my elbows and knees from perpetually trying to tame the nearby BMX track. Older still and I started hankering for a dirt bike (motorbike). Never got that one though. Bugger.

I grew up in the city (Newcastle, NSW) but the first place I bought when I lived away from home was a small property (20 acres) in the Hunter Valley. I lived alone and boy, don't you learn fast how to fix things and make do in emergencies! For about 5 years all my birthday and Xmas presents from family were things like a ladder, a wheelbarrow, a cordless drill, a sander, a whipper-snipper, a lawn-mower. I even had a tractor - but that was really just for show.

I learnt that 30 x 30kg hay bales constituted a bloody good workout when moving them from the trailer to the shed. That long railway sleepers are EXTREMELY heavy when you try to move them alone - and a wheelbarrow only helps a little. That trying to auger through sandstone and clay to put in concrete foundations for a stable/shed is damn hard work. And that living alone on the land is unforgiving and perpetual physical work. Not to mention the responsibility of the animals that rely on you.

I had to learn how to give a horse a tetanus injection. That snakes still bite you even if you don't see them. That redback spiders are not aggressive but that centipedes are among the ugliest things on this planet. That pythons who live in your ceiling and sleep above your bedroom hate the vibrations caused from a ceiling fan. That I'm not above trying to bribe the pizza place with $100 to deliver 30km out of town. And that I'm too lazy to drive to the hospital when I slice halfway through my finger with the edge of a dog food can lid (it stopped bleeding eventually, but remains numb to this day).

I went for a job interview the other day. It's with a recycling plant (I'd be working in the office, by the way), so is effectively near a big pile of rubbish. One of their questions was how I would handle having to go over to the site shed and be around that pile of rubbish. I described how in previous jobs I've had to don woolen (fire-proof) clothing to wander up and down kilometres of pots filled with molten aluminium counting gas bottles, and also walk about 2km out of a dis-used mine shaft (coal mine) in (up to thigh deep) mud with only the light on my hardhat and only stinky, sweaty, stale air to breathe. They laughed and decided I was probably tough enough to handle the rubbish. (Bet you had no idea that the life of an accountant could possibly be so .. dirty!)

Am I really that odd?? (Don't bother answering that - I think I already know the answer.)

These colourful experiences have all brought me to where I am today. Sure, I do karate and seem to enjoy being punched and kicked all over the place, and I drive a V8 Monaro. But aside from that, I think my feminine side is now alive and well. No more farm, minimal power tools, nil flannelette shirts and only one pair of steel-capped boots. I can even walk in high heels these days!

It's been quite the journey thus far .. can't wait to see what the next 40 years holds for me. So don't let anyone's judgement confine you. One person's boring past is the next person's entertaining (even enviable) story. It's taken me a while, but I don't want to be anyone but me now. I've think I've earned the right to be myself. Besides, everyone else is taken!

(First pic is of Bear, my beloved dog - he now chases rabbits in that big farm in the sky. The second is of the world's longest horse. Not really. I had two horses the same colour - both tried to cram into the little shed.)